Brain Snapshot 11:48 pm 12/30/08

Following in the footsteps of Daron and Kristin... and doing a snapshot of the random thoughts that flutter through this head of mine.

Brain Snapshot #1

I should really go to bed soon, as it's almost midnight. the snow is supposed to start around 7am, that sucks since I have to go fax the request to UConn to get my final official transcript. They were supposed to send it awhile ago, but RIC never received it. Drives me nuts, I just wanna continue on in school, and this whole waiting thing is insane. They said my GPA is a "problem", since it's not the 3.0 they require as a minimum. I had issues during school, I can match each problem semester with an event in my life. It's horrible. I just want to become a teacher, so I can change lives, teach children, pass on my knowledge which I have gathered throughout my 23, almost 24 years. I Love learning, i Love teaching. I just want to help change the world. I hate these roadblocks that keep popping up. I really want sherbet right now, but we don't have any. Oooh maybe I'll have some frozen raspberries. Our water pressure here is horrible, the pipes are 60+ years old, and it takes forever for the washer to fill. I have laundry to do. Oye. I really miss my friends right now. Yeah, my love is right next to me, but I miss my "girls"... the "gang". I miss coffee smells, burnt hair, coffee presses, and orange slippers. I miss the couch, and the tall chairs, the full bed, and having my own sink. I miss Big Y, and Super Walmart... and the confessions door. I miss my friends. They really are my family. Without them, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Although I am surrounded by family here, I miss my other family, i miss my girls... I can't wait to see them again. I need a Grey's night, or a bowling night out... or a Funfetti concoction.
I miss my friends.
My contacts are bothering me, they have been in too long. I had taken so many fantastic pictures over the holiday... and today, somehow, in the process of copying them to my computer, all of them on my camera were deleted. The ones I took early on Christmas Eve were saved, and some others, but the good ones, the self-portraits taken in the reflection of our ornaments... all of them were deleted. I'm so pissed. I can't figure out how to fix it, and I don't think I can. It's now midnight, and i'm tired. I'm going to hit the sack... eventually.

good night, world.

YAY!

I have a date a week from today with my honey. I'm not telling where we are going, but I am SUPER excited, somewhat relieved, and extremely proud of him. :-D

back to my studying.....

Rain Rain Rain

I love rain, I really do. Just not when I have work to do, as it makes me sleepy. LOL
Off to go study for an exam... I'll update later. :)

Promise. :)

Hmmm

I have decided I am going to try and write on this at least once every day. Not only does it give me an outlet for my random thoughts (kinda like Twitter minus the text message usage) but it allows everyone else to be kept somewhat updated on my life's adventures.
So the new thing of the day is that the professor didn't show up for one of my classes. Ethnohistory of Native New England to be precise. The majority of the class stayed for about 20 minutes, then we passed around a sheet of paper and wrote down all our names so he knew we had been there. I then put it under his office door, and mentioned to the Anthro Program Director that the Prof didn't show up. Apparently there was something she was supposed to do or tell someone about. I guess we were supposed to have a proctor for our quiz, but she didn't show up either. Crazy. It does feel nice though that I got back to my apartment about 30 minutes earlier than I usually do.

I also did some research in the library today about my Portuguese ancestry. I found an excellent book on the Açores Islands which I basically read in the library standing up in the stacks. :) I am SUPER excited because it explains more about our family name and where it came from. It also has our family shield! Very, very exciting! Anyway, I have an hour and 5 minutes before I have my night class, so I am going to go do some reading for this class and grab something to eat as well. Maybe i'll post more later. :)

What a Fantastic Feeling

We Did It.

We started the ball rolling for change in this country.

We elected Barack Obama for President of the United States of America.

Change Has Come.


Finally.

I know I haven't written on here yet, and I haven't written in LiveJournal in probably over a month. I just feel the need to get some stuff out that has been bothering me, depressing me, stressing me out lately. Just bear with me... it's probably going to be a lot of babbling.

54 Days.

That's all I have left until I graduate with my Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. I'm a first-generation college student, and I graduate in 54 days.
I'm terrified. As much as I can't wait to start the next step, to go out into the big world, I'm scared shitless. I'm so scared to leave the familiar places, people, things that I have come to love over the past 5.5 years. I Love being in college, I love having almost all of my closest friends near me, within a shuttle bus ride away, or even a few steps down the hallway. I love having my own room that I can have my boyfriend come over whenever we want, and I can just shut us away from the world. I love going to classes, and learning about things that affect my life, and may affect my children's. I am going to miss so much about college. Like seeing the old man with the pipe after class 3x a week, or hearing the marching band practice, smelling Kristin's coffee before I get up in the morning, and hearing her wide variety of music coming from down the hall. I'm going to miss Grey's nights, Ashley's aversion to microwave popcorn, Daron's amazing homemade popcorn making, and I'm going to miss my roommates incredibly. I have made some of the best friends while here in school, and soon I will be 2 hours away from them. Yeah that isn't a lot, but when your car is 16 years old, and you will be going to graduate school, it's a lot.

I have so many hopes, and dreams, that I always thought were going to happen when I graduated from college, but as it gets closer and closer, they begin to fade a little. Yes, I am applying to graduate school for elementary education, so my dream of becoming a teacher is brightening, but moving in with my love doesn't seem like such a close possiblility any more. The money isn't there. We can't afford to start our life together. Getting our own apartment is not in the picture right now. I am so worried that with me going to school, and him living 3 hours away, will become detrimental to our relationship. We've done it before, but I'm terrified of losing him. He's my best friend. I can't imagine my life without him. He is thinking about joining the Navy, to get money to pay off his loans, and to jumpstart his career in culinary, which I support all the way, because I am a military grand-daughter, and grew up going grocery shopping on base. I would love to travel the world too with him, teaching English wherever we go, but you never know what's going to happen.

I get so stressed out lately, thinking about what's going to happen in those 54 days. What's Grad school going to be like? what's the money situation going to be like? How long is my car going to last? will I be able to make it in the public school system? Will I be a good teacher? Where am I going to study? OMG, I'm not going to have a desk, where is all my crap going to go?? I absolutely love my duvet cover, but it's a full and my bed at home is a twin...
These are the things that run through my head on an almost constant basis. I wish I could press a button and get my own place, be able to afford it, get into school, and everything else all at once.
I'm going to have to invest in a bunch of frames, because I can't be without my pictures...

I'm so, so excited to take that next step, but i'm terrified of the unknown.
That's what I'm afraid of... the unknown. Those little things that bug me because I don't know what's going to happen.

Please, Lord, please help me through this crazy time. I don't know what I'm going to do, or how it's going to be.



sorry this is so like an internal monologue... it basically was.
if it bothers you, then don't read it. that's all.

and don' worry... i'll be fine. :)